My TBR (guilt) is Killing Me

I don’t think it’s any secret that I love books. It’s obvious, right? One look at my Instagram feed (not to mention the fact that I helped found a literary society) will tell you everything you need to know. Spend more than five minutes with me and you will understand, because I will either straight-up ask you what you’re currently reading, or I will find a way to talk about the book that I’m reading. That being said, I have a problem I share with most readers- my TBR (To Be Read, for those unfamiliar with the term) is out of control, and it’s really hampering my reading life.

Because y’all? I don’t have a TBR stack on my bedside table, or a shelf among my favorite books. I have a wall.

That’s correct--wall. I have a TBR wall. If you want to nitpick (and I know that some of you will), it’s really a half a wall, because it is wall to wall but not floor to ceiling. Give it time. I’m sure I’ll get there. Books are also hiding behind me in the photo.

ANYWAY, what you’re seeing in this photo is me, displaying books that I have purchased but not yet read since 2012. Now that isn’t to say that I’ve never read anything on this shelf- The wall was built in 2010, and I’ve really made a dent in the 2012 section. But, you see, in 2013 I discovered this little series called “The Dresden Files” and I had to read all 15 books, one after the other, because the story is so compelling! I finished the series in 2014 with the release of the then-new release "Skin Game" before moving on to the material on my TBR wall (Hello, Rainbow Rowell!).

2016-2017 were rough years for our family, and I engaged in several heavy bouts of retail book therapy. It was such a rough couple years that I didn't even have the wherewithal to organize those books by year (more on that later)--I just kept shelving alphabetically and decided to start over in 2018.

Speaking of 2018, that fall I realized that I couldn’t cope with the idea that my daughter was graduating high school and leaving me forever, so I fell back into the loving, safe arms of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and finished that series (again) in 2019. Finally, in early 2020, Jim Butcher announced that he was releasing TWO new Dresden books to celebrate the 20th anniversary release of "Storm Front", the first novel in the series. It had been so long since I’d read the original books in the series, I had to do a re-read, naturally, to catch myself up to "Brief Cases", "Peace Talks", and "Battle Ground" (where I am now).

However, all this re-reading didn’t stop me from buying books (new and backlist) or adding books to my Goodreads (now The StoryGraph) book tracking app. That online list is almost 300 books long. I'd buy books, add them to my "Want To Read" shelf then turn around and add more books to my "To Buy Or Borrow" shelf. It's a sad cycle.

I feel tremendous guilt about buying, but I just can’t say no to a bookstore. If I’m going to visit, I’m going to buy. I'm just trying to bolster the local economy! Besides, I’ve got that 300-book deep list I mentioned before. Buying books (sometimes) helps me make a dent in that list, even if it does add to my trouble at home. Not with my husband, though, Richie has a vinyl record addiction, so he encourages my own collecting habit. Anytime we go someplace new, he says to me, "Hey--maybe they have a bookstore you can visit," while secretly hoping that the bookstore might have a record collection or there might be a record store nearby.

It's also difficult when friends wants to give me books. They want me to read the book immediately but I can't, because often I've already picked out my next several books. It just gets added to that year's shelf, and my guilt. (As of this writing, it's February 2021 and I have already purchased 6 books and received two as gifts. Like the 2020 gifts and purchases, they are not even on a shelf. They are lined up on a table that sits beneath the shelves.

I am just now realizing that I have only given clues about my organizational system, but have not come right out with it. The books are sectioned by year, separated with a Playbill from a musical. Within each section, the books are organized alphabetically by author. If I have more than one author, those are shelved by publication date, which comes in handy because 1) I love a series, and 2) It's very easy for me to get obsessed about authors and buy up their entire backlist over the course of a year.

I used to read according to a strict guideline--if I bought a book in 2019, I would not allow myself to read it until I got to my 2019 shelf. I would only allow myself to read books according to the year I was currently reading. For example, I don't think I read one new release in 2017--I was too busy reading from the 2011 and 2012 shelves. However, 2020 really got me thinking about my book collecting and reading habits. Why did I have to stick to such a strict rule for myself? When thinking about the books I wanted to read in 2021 (when I will be finished with The Dresden Files series for now), I decided to take a book or two from each year on my TBR wall. This way, I get to read books that have been shelved for years AND books that have just been purchased (or gifted). Honestly, it feels refreshing.

Do you suffer from TBR guilt? Have you bought (or are buying) more books than you can possibly read? Tell me about it in the comments!